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The Silent Battle: Honoring Veterans While Confronting Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault in the Military
By Patrick Cunningham, Defense Based Advocate, National Defense Center for Criminalized Survivors, Battered Women’s Justice Project, US Army Veteran 1999-2006
Veterans Day is a time to honor the courage, sacrifice, and selfless service of those who have worn the uniform. It’s a moment to reflect on the bravery of our nation’s heroes—those who have faced danger abroad to protect our freedoms at home. But for many Veterans, the battles don’t end when they return. Behind the medals and memories, some carry invisible injuries: wounds inflicted not by war, but by intimate partner violence (IPV) and sexual assault.
As we pay tribute to our Veterans, we must do so while confronting the silent struggles many endure. Often in fear of retaliation or ridicule. In a culture built on strength and perseverance, vulnerability is often seen as a weakness. That element of military culture can often lead to service members compartmentalizing such things as sexual assault and domestic violence, both within the chain-of-command and at with intimate partners at home. These issues are not isolated incidents—they are systemic, deeply rooted in military culture, and often hidden from public view.
Studies show that 45.7% of female Veterans and 37.1% of male Veterans have experienced intimate partner violence in their lifetimes. Among active-duty service members, female service members are 2.4 times more likely to experience domestic violence than their male counterparts. Sexual assault is also alarmingly prevalent and normalized, with 55% of women and 16.8% of men reporting sexual harassment or assault during their military service.
Despite these staggering numbers, reporting remains dangerously low. In 2022, only 1 in 4 service members who experienced sexual assault reported it to military leadership. Many fear retaliation, damage to their careers, or being ostracized by their peers. In fact, nearly one-third of survivors—both men and women—reported experiencing retaliation after an assault, whether they chose to report it or not. Especially when the abuse or sexual assault is from a member of that service member’s own chain-of-command.
Military culture emphasizes and celebrates resilience, toughness, and loyalty. Soldiers are taught to “suck it up and drive on.” While compartmentalization is an essential combat coping mechanism, this mentality becomes a barrier to healing when survivors of abuse or sexual assault feel pressured to remain silent. The fear of being perceived as weak or disloyal can prevent service members from seeking help.
This culture of silence not only harms individuals; it perpetuates cycles of trauma and injustice. Survivors may suffer from PTSD, depression, and other mental health conditions, which can be exacerbated by the lack of support and recognition. While the VA provides life-saving treatment to veterans across the board, the path to receiving that care can often be difficult and unclear. It makes transitioning into civilian society, an already difficult task, an often-insurmountable obstacle. For those Veterans who did not report their experiences during their enlistment, the culture of silence can also become a barrier to receiving the care and benefits that they need from Veteran’s services such as the VA and state/city Veteran’s service organizations.
A recent survey conducted by Allsup Veterans Disability Appeal Services revealed that 39% of veterans disagreed that they received good guidance about benefits at discharge, and only 15% strongly agreed they were well-informed about VA resources. Nearly half of veterans (48%) reported not understanding their disability benefits today. These gaps in transitional support leave many veterans underserved, confused, and at risk of missing out on critical care—especially those coping with service-related trauma who may not have reported their experiences during enlistment.
This barrier to transitional support has fatal consequences. In 2022, there were 6,407 suicides among veterans, an average of 17.5 suicides every day. Since 2001, over 140,000 veterans have died by suicide—more than the combined combat deaths in the Wars in Vietnam, Iraq, and Afghanistan. Veterans who experienced military sexual trauma (MST) are 3 times more likely to attempt suicide. Among male veterans who experienced MST, nearly 19% attempted suicide, compared to 6% of those who had not. Veterans who identify as LGBTQ+ face suicide rates up to 7 times higher than their non-LGBTQ+ peers.
Veterans Day should be a time to honor all battles our service members have faced—including those fought in silence. It is not enough to thank veterans for their service; we must also advocate for their safety, dignity, and healing. Organizations like the Battered Women’s Justice Project are working to shine a light on these hidden struggles and push for systemic change, but more must be done. As we honor our veterans this November, let us also commit to supporting those who continue to fight unseen battles. We must listen to survivors, challenge harmful norms, and demand accountability from institutions that have failed them. Veteran survivors deserve not only our gratitude—but our action.